Team Oneshots
by goatcloud
Summary: Just some stories of the team together. Most will probably be funny. Warning for occasional swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**This is just going to be oneshots of the team together. Most of my ideas are supposed to be funny, but hey we'll see what happens. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

It was the day after her first mission with the team, and Artemis sat on the couch in the cave. Kaldur sat next to her, quietly reading, and M'gann and Conner talked. More like flirted. Neither were being particularly subtle about it, but they still both seemed blind to each other's interest. Artemis tried not to roll her eyes, and wondered if she could get the Superboy's attention. She decided to just flip through TV channels.

She really didn't want to be here, but Green Arrow had insisted that she try to bond with the team. But these people were strangers to her. The ones around her now weren't even fully human. How was she supposed to "bond" with them? Especially after last night.

Sure, the team seemed to accept her, and eventually Wally welcomed her (begrudgingly), but she still felt out of place. Kaldur, as team leader, probably wasn't happy she let Chesire get away (let her go actually, but that's what sisters do), Robin and Wally probably blame her for Red Arrow not being around, and who knows what the lovebirds are thinking. Artemis needed an ice breaker, but she was way too nervous.

"Hey." Artemis jumped, and was slightly embarrassed when she turned to find Robin behind her. He chuckled good naturedly, and climbed over the back of the couch to sit next to her. Artemis liked Robin a bit. He was nice, and seemed to accept her for the most part. She had no idea why he was friends with Kid Mouth. "Sorry, I tend to sneak up on people."

"Yeah, I heard that was your thing." He smiled proudly.

"So. You like the cave?" Artemis nodded, not sure what to say. "You're welcome to any part of it. We like to do experiments in the lab sometimes. You can too if you're into that. Maybe design a new bow. We'd be happy to help."

Artemis wondered who "we" was. The whole team? Just Robin? Robin and Wally? She decided not to worry about, and just be thankful that Robin was trying to make her feel welcome.

"Thanks, I might take you up on that offer." Robin looked honestly pleased with the answer. He started to reply when they were interrupted.

"Hey!" Wally shouted from behind them. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at the angry ginger. Artemis didn't even see him move, and he was standing in front of her and Robin. "Who do you think you are?" he snapped at her. Artemis felt her hands tighten into fists. So much for being welcomed. She wanted to see the rest of team's reactions, but she refused to break eye contact with the annoying prick. She found it incredibly ironic that he was wearing a make science not war t shirt.

"Wally?" Robin asked cautiously.

"You think that just because we let you on the team you're entitled to everything?" Wally continued, ignoring his friend. Artemis started to tense up, preparing for a lightning fast attack from the speedster. "You can't just waltz in here like this."

"Wally," Robin said standing up. "It's not what it looks like." What does it look like? Artemis had no idea.

"No, I don't want to hear it," Wally said, sounding honestly hurt. "Robin is _my_ man! You keep your home wreaking claws off him!" Artemis's eyes widened, and she almost fell back in her seat. What did he just say? M'gann and Conner were already starting to laugh. Robin stepped between them.

"Wally, don't be like this. This isn't like you," he said softly. "You can't honestly think that I'd have eyes for anyone but you." What is happening? What is going on here?

"Oh Robin," Wally sighed. Then, in the blink of an eye, he tackled boy wonder in an embrace, and the two tumbled over the back of the couch with a loud thud. Artemis barely had time to move out of the way. The two started make over exaggerated kissing noises between their laughs as they rolled on the floor. M'gann was holding her side laughing, while Conner and Kaldur tried to cover their laughter. Artemis still looked shocked.

"What just happened?" she asked, and the two boys started stumbling toward the kitchen.

"They're just playing," M'gann said between her laughs. Artemis wondered if she was laughing at the boys or her.

"Are. Are they dating?"

"They may as well be," Kaldur answered, before going back to his reading. She looked over to Conner, who just shrugged. What just happened?


	2. Chapter 2

**These are not necessarily told in order.**

* * *

"Artemis! Zee! Come here, I just finished some cookies!" M'gann called to her friends. The two girls looked at each other, trying to cover their nervousness. M'gann's cookies never seemed to come out edible, but this time she was sure they were perfect. "Just come see," she assured them, opening up the oven to levitate the tray out. "This time they're…. perfect?"

M'gann stared down at what looked like just melted puddles of dough, some of which had fallen into the oven and burned. She didn't bother hiding her disappointment, and her friends showed no surprise at the sight.

"Hey, it's ok, M'gann," Zatanna assured her.

"Yeah, at least they're not burnt this time," Artemis offered. M'gann just sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong." Artemis and Zatanna exchanged a look again.

"Hey, why do you care anyway?" Artemis asked. "I mean, you're a superhero. You fight crime. You don't belong in a kitchen anyway. There's no sense in getting upset over some crumby… er melty cookies when you have so many other talents." The archer smiled confidently at her, and Zatanna nodded her agreement.

"But this is what earth girls do," M'gann argued weakly.

"What earth girls do?" Zatanna asked. "What? 'Cause men expect us to? Don't make me laugh."

"That's what I'm saying. A girl with your powers has no need to learn how to make cookies." M'gann suddenly felt embarrassed, and a hot blush spread across her cheeks. Was she just becoming a stereotype? She felt the need to defend herself, even if her friends weren't actually attacking her hobbies.

"But if I like cookies and sweets then wouldn't it be good to know how to make them? Isn't it a good skill for everyone to have?"

"That's just what men want you to think," Zatanna countered.

"Yeah. You won't see me in the kitchen so long as men are telling me to. I'm not going to be controlled by them," Artemis said with a cocky smile, earning a high five from Zatanna.

"But if you're not doing something just because men tell you to do it, then aren't men still sort of controlling you?" M'gann asked cautiously. "I mean, your actions are still based on what they think." The idea made sense in her head, but she wasn't feeling too sure of herself. Her friends looked at each other, this time with a bit of confusion.

"I. I guess so…" Zatanna answered. "So I should do what they say to prove I'm not doing what they say simply because they told me to do it?" She looked like she was facing a serious life crisis, so M'gann started feeling more confident in her argument again. Artemis wasn't convinced though.

"Hell no. I'm not going to learn some easy little task just to prove I think independently. I can prove myself with actual skills."

"Baking is a skill," M'gann insisted. "And it's not easy. Otherwise I wouldn't still be ending up with this mess." She gestured at the tray of not cookies.

"What's so hard about it?" Artemis continued. By now M'gann was getting a little insulted, and Zatanna tried to quiet the arched. "You just follow some directions, and boom! You got cookies. Anyone can do it."

"Oh really?" M'gann said, wanting to prove Artemis wrong. "Then prove it. You go ahead and show me how easy it is." Artemis stared at M'gann as if she was expecting this to be some kind of trap.

"Alright, I will," she finally answered.

"Ok…" Zatanna said awkwardly. "I guess we're baking then."

* * *

Robin and Wally talked about plans for the weekend as they walked through the hallway toward the kitchen. Robin had some ideas to update some of the team's weapons, and Wally was the best choice for helping him… so long as they didn't distract each other.

"Yeah I'm free," Wally said. "I can be here all weekend if you-" He was cut off from a shout from the kitchen, though neither of the boys could see what was going on yet.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Was that Artemis?" Robin asked.

"Had to be," Wally answered with a shrug.

"Do you think it's safe to go-" He was cut off when he heard an aggravated groan. "Zatanna?"

"Well, I'm curious," Wally answered, perking up a bit. Robin and Wally stopped at the end of the hallway when they finally had a full view of the kitchen. Their three female team mates had made a small mess in the kitchen. Artemis and Zatanna each looked about ready to pull out their hair, and M'gann watched with a smug smiled across her face.

"Hi guys!" M'gann called. The boys waved back, still a little confused. Robin never thought he'd see Artemis in the kitchen. "We're learning how to bake."

"Baking lessons?" Wally said excitedly. "I want to learn!" Before robin could blink he was standing next to M'gann. When Robin finally got over, he saw that neither Zatanna nor Artemis was paying attention to them.

"Maybe cookies are just difficult," Artemis mumbled to herself. She was concentrating on a tray of dry cookies. Robin picked one up, and it crumbled in his hand with the light touch. "Maybe cake is the way to go. Anyone can make a cake. _I_ can make a cake." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. He turned to Zatanna when he heard her groan again.

"Why is it splitting? I don't understand, M'gann. Why is my batter splitting?"

"Not so easy is it," M'gann said, her voice oozing with superiority. She was helping Wally get ready to make something.

"Shut up, M'gann," both girls said in unison.

"Would you like to try, Robin?" M'gann asked, ignoring them.

"Yeah sure," Robin answered. Why not? How hard could it be, and in the end he would have come cookies or cake.

"Yay!" Wally said happily with a joking smile. "A team bonding experience. This will be ever so much fun."

* * *

Conner followed Kaldur through the zeta tube, and was surprised to walk right into him. Kaldur was never that thoughtless to stand right in the way. He was about to ask what was wrong when he looked over the Atlantean's shoulder to the kitchen. It was a complete disaster. Ingredients were everywhere, dirty pans and trays cluttered the counters, and his teammates were fighting with each other. Somehow eggs and flour and milk had ended up splattered in the living area.

"What's going on," he quietly asked Kaldur, too worried to attract attention to himself to raise his voice.

"I do not know." They slowly made their way around the room to get a full view. M'gann and Zatanna were watching Robin work on the over (he was half way inside it), and Artemis and Wally were fighting.

"You said you fixed the oven, Rob," Zatanna snapped.

"Look, I don't work on ovens a lot." Zatanna sighed, then got down and started to climb into the oven with him. "Hey you're blocking my light."

" _thgil_." A light shined out of the oven

"The oven's heat must stay constant or the cake will keep sinking in the middle," M'gann explained.

"Well it would be easier to calibrate the oven if there wasn't so much burnt stuff in here," came Robin's muffled response.

"Just what are you trying to say, boy wonder," Zatanna snapped.

"He's probably insulting my cookies again. It's not my fault they are burned," M'gann complained. "It is the oven's."

Conner and Kaldur stared at the chaos in front of them.

"All this because of… baked goods?" Conner asked. "Is this normal?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Kaldur replied. Humans were odd. "Duck!" They both bent down as an egg whizzed by their heads, and splatted somewhere in the living room. "That explains the range of the mess," Kaldur sighed. The egg came from Artemis, and only missed Wally since he used his super speed.

"No. More. Eggs!" Artemis shouted.

"The protein will provide the structure for the cake so it won't sink!" Wally shouted back.

"It will make the cake dense, just like you!"

"Well you can't just keep adding baking soda. Flour could also work."

"Then it will be dry. The ratios are not the problem. It's the temperature. We need to cook it as a lower temperature so it has time to rise properly."

"If we do that then it will never caramelize!"

"Do you want a crunchy, dry ass cake, Wally? Is that what you want!?"

"Well I certainly don't want your shitty sunken cake!"

"That's it, we're starting over!" Artemis ordered.

"Ugh!" M'gann groaned. "Now _my_ batter in splitting."

"Ha!" Zatanna teased her from in the oven. "Doesn't feel too great now does it?" M'gann glared down at the girl. Robin said something about feeling fine, but it was hard to hear while he was in the oven.

"I think we should go," Conner said quietly to Kaldur. "I don't feel safe." Kaldur nodded. "Indeed. We shall spend the day on the beach… meditating."


	3. Chapter 3

The mission was not going as Kaldur had planned. Some crazed lunatic in a mask (a "noob villain" as KF and Robin put it) had decided to plant bombs in a factory just outside Central City. Why he chose the factory, no one knew yet, but that didn't matter. Batman put them on this mission to take out the bombs secretly so no one in the justice league would draw attention to the situation. It would cause needless worry.

Each member of the Team took a bomb (with Artemis and Superboy teaming up for one), and they met up again outside the factory. The building was already evacuated. That was all going according to plan. What wasn't was that Robin was still in the building. Kaldur had honestly expected him to be the first one done, and waiting for the rest of them with a cocky smile. Instead, the Team stood waiting for him.

"I'm going back in after him," Kid Flash said.

"No," Kaldur quickly ordered. "We only have a few minutes left on the timer. I won't have you walking in on that. Miss M, can you contact him?" Miss Martian closed her eyes and concentrated hard. When she finally opened them again, she looked disappointed.

"I don't understand. He's within range, I can sense him. But I can't communicate with him." Kaldur didn't like the sound of that.

"See. Something is wrong," KF insisted. "I can be in and out in a jiffy." It was clear KF was putting in a lot of effort to look calm and even light hearted, but Kaldur knew he was incredibly worried about his friend. Still, he couldn't risk letting someone else getting stuck in an explosion.

"No. Robin always pulls through. Always. We will wait for him."

"Well this time is different!"

"I hate to say it, but I agree with KF on this one," Artemis added.

"But without M'gann's connection to him, Kid will never find him," Superboy pointed out. "Robin could get out, or already be outside somewhere, and KF will be in an exploding building looking for someone who is already gone."

"Exactly," Kaldur agreed. "And my readings show the bomb is still active."

"Don't care. I'm going." Superboy grabbed KF's wrist before he could run off. "Let go, Soupy." His voice was low and dangerous.

"Why don't we vote?" Miss M suggested.

"No time, I'm out." KF used his super speed to run circles around Superboy until he let go of his wrist, then he ran full speed into the building.

"Wally no!" Artemis called after him, and started to go after him. Miss Martian pulled her back. "But Robin."

"Now we must wait for the both," Kaldur said grimly, checking his timer. "30 seconds." It was the longest 30 seconds Kaldur had every felt, and he hoped they were long enough for KF to find Robin and get back out. Maybe even disarm the bomb too. At this point, the Team just held their breath, hoping that by the end of this they still had 6 members.

"15 seconds."

"Maybe I can find them," Superboy said. "I can probably survive the explosion."

"Stay," Kaldur said. "9 seconds." 8. 7. 6.

"Oh no," Miss M whimpered, and buried her face in Artemis's shoulder. The archer just stood watching the exit. 4. 3. 2. 1.

The was a loud explosion just to the left of the exit, sending a shockwave that the Team could feel even at their current distance. The explosion didn't take down the whole building, but it did light it all on fire. Also, it made the exit impossible to get through. Kaldur couldn't even feel the loss. He was numb, unable to believe what happened. And Cold. He couldn't take his eyes off the burning building, couldn't blink. He didn't care about the failed mission. He just stared in shock. His Team stood behind him in silence.

"I told you something was wrong." The all turned quickly to see KF and Robin sprawled on the ground panting. Kid Flash's nose was bleeding, and Robin was rubbing his head. "This moron let the noob get the jump on him."

"You're alive!" Miss M cried, and dropped down to the ground to hug her teammates.

"Shut up, Kid. He was working with someone," Robin snapped. "And what kind of idiot runs into an exploding building?"

"I ran _out_ of an exploding building."

"You're not fast enough for that shit!"

"Apparently I am!"

"I'm telling Flash you went over your speed limit!"

"Then I'm telling Batman you got knocked out by a noob!" Kaldur shook his head.

"I will accept full responsibility for tonight's failure when I give the league my full report," he explained.

"What!?" KF snapped.

"No, don't tell them about this!" Robin added. "Dude, you were great by the way. Not a failure at all."

"Man, _you_ were great. Everyone messes up sometimes."

"We just ran out of an exploding building!"

"We were awesome!" The high fived each other then collapsed back on the ground.

"No, no you weren't!" Artemis yelled at them. Miss M and Superboy voiced their agreement. "You scared us all half to death!"

"This is not going to happened again," Kaldur said firmly. How did they change attitudes so fast?

"Hey, we proved we could do it," KF sighed. Robin nodded.

"Now we have to do it again."


	4. Chapter 4

Dick and Wally made their way through the cave's corridors, Dick trying to appear nonchalant and Wally not caring and bolting from door to door in excitement. He waited just long enough for Dick to keep up. Both were insanely excited for the new space to train and learn and relax, and they both took off to explore the second they had the chance.

"Dude," Wally gasped, looking into a doorway. He tried to say something else, but all that came out was gurgles and gibberish. Dick jogged to catch up, and looked to see what was making Wally close to fainting. Inside was a full lab, stocked with the most advanced technology.

"Woah," Dick commented, tempted to lower his shades to look at it. "This is most of the stuff we have in the Batcave."

"Oh shut up. We can't all have a Batcave." They stood at the edge of the door, both scared to cross the threshold first. "Batman did say we could use anything here, didn't he?"

"I did." Wally and Dick both jumped at the sound of the deep voice behind them. Batman gave Dick a look that said he should know better than to be so easily surprised. "Don't blow anything up." The boys both responded with a polite "yes sir," and Batman turned to leave at once. By the time Dick turned back around, Wally was zipping full speed to look at all the lab had to offer.

"What do you want to do first?" he asked excitedly. Dick grinned.

"Let's blow something up."

"All right!"

* * *

The Team had been at the Cave for a month now, and they had all settled in nicely. M'gann, Kaldur, and Superboy were sitting in the living area. Kaldur was reading a book, M'gann was watching a popular reality TV show (as part of her "Earth research"), and Superboy really just watched whatever was on the TV at the time. They were all very relaxed until they heard an explosion down one of the corridors.

Immediately, they all tensed, but remained seated, ready to leap at the next sign of danger. Instead, there was a small gust of wind, and Wally was sitting next to them with a dazed look on his face. His goggles were on his head, and the two circles where they had been over his eyes were the only parts of his face that were not covered in soot. His red hair stuck up, and was also dirtied.

"What happened?" Kaldur asked.

"What did you break?" Superboy sighed. Before Wally responded, Robin trudged into the room, and plopped on the couch next to Wally. He had the same dazed look on his soot covered face, his hair sticking up, but his dark goggles were still down.

"Robin, Wally," M'gann said gently. "What happened? Is it safe to go look?"

"You might want to give it a few minutes," Robin said in a far off tone.

"Are you hurt?" Kaldur asked. They had both experienced explosions before, so he wasn't sure why they were in shock.

"Not yet," said Wally. The Zeta Tube behind them activated, and indicated Batman's arrival. Both boys stiffened.

"What happened?" Batman snapped. Robin and Wally stood up when Batman moved in front of them. It seemed neither wanted to explain, then they both started talking at the same times.

"Are you guys getting any of this?" M'gann asked in Kaldur and Superboy's heads.

"Bits and pieces," Superboy responded dryly.

"They blew up the lab working on a weapon I believe," Kaldur explained. With one glare, Batman slowed the two boys down. Robin continued.

"We were trying to improve one of my pellet bombs, but the containment field we were testing them in wasn't strong enough. There was a… small explosion in the lab.

"Were you successful?" Batman asked.

"We increased the force of the explosion by 30%, while maintaining the pellet size," Wally explained.

"Good." Wally and Robin looked so shocked they nearly fell over. "You will clean the lab. I want it to look brand new. Then you will increase the containment field's strength by 60%. When you have done this, you can get back to work on your experiments." They responded with two quiet "yes sir"s, and Batman left. When the Zeta Tube finally powered down, Robin and Wally high fived each other.

"We survived, dude," Robin cheered.

"Batman doesn't hate me! I'm not dead!" Wally shouted. "Let's go fix this stuff!"

"The sooner the bettered!" Robin called as he chased Wally back down the corridor. "I want to start working on my other equipment!"

The rest of the Team remained in their seat, feeling a sense of dread settle in. They slowly turned to look at each other.

"They're going to blow this whole place up," Superboy said. To him, it was a fact. The others nodded in agreement.


	5. Chapter 5

**So it's probably a bit obvious who my favorite characters are: Robin, Wally, and Artemis. I try to write the others, but I always come back to those 3.**

* * *

Another mission, another fast get away. But hey, that's what Wally did best. This time they had successfully gathered intel and moved away from the enemy base without getting caught. Unfortunately, local animals (wolves, bears, and Wally was pretty sure he saw some moose) were affected by the chemical wastes of yet another venom plant, and were currently chasing them. Just their luck.

The whole team was dressed in their white uniforms for snow, and rushed through the trees to get back to the rendezvous point. They couldn't just get picked up by the bioship anywhere, because that is how you get caught.

"Is everyone still moving?" Kaldur's voice came in clear in Wally's head, followed by a series of yeses. He saw Robin on his right, and Artemis on his left. The other three were up ahead. Wally liked to hang back to give his teammates a head start since he could make a quick getaway whenever he wanted. "Good, don't stop until you reach the ship. Do not engage the animals."

Robin pulled out his grappling hook to swing through the trees and move faster. He started to leave Wally and Artemis behind. That was good though. They would catch up. Unfortunately, the animals were doing that right now. Three large wolves, a bear, and two moose were closing in, and foaming at the mouths.

"Miss M, bring the ship in as close as possible without compromising our position," Kaldur ordered through their psychic link. Just then Wally heard a shout from Artemis. A moose charged her, giving her barely enough time to hop onto its antlers and jump over it to safety. "KF get her out of there now!"

"On it."

"I got this, just keep moving," Artemis snapped. But already she was falling too far behind, and a wolf was closing in while the moose doubled back.

"Go with Kid Flash," Kaldur ordered. Wally didn't have time for this. He ran full speed to the archer, and snatched her up just before the wolf closed its teeth where she had been. Wally had grabbed people on the run a hundred times, unfortunately this time Artemis's entire body tensed up, and she had twisted against him to push him away. It was the worst thing to do. She grunted in pain, and Wally knew immediately that he had hurt her. No time to worry now, he had to go.

It only took 20 seconds for him to carry her back to the rendezvous point, where M'gann had the ship ready for him to run up the ramp. As soon as they were on the ship, M'gann took off full speed. Wally gingerly let Artemis down, and she winced and held her side.

"I'm sorry," Wally said quickly. He knew better than this. As a speedster, he was protected from sudden changes in acceleration, high speeds, and the effects of inertia, but normal people weren't. One of the first things the Flash taught him was to never let his powers hurt people. Slow down and be gentle. "This is my fault."

"Yeah I know that, genius," Artemis snapped as she made her way to her seat.

"What happened?" Kaldur asked. Robin gave Wally a sympathetic look. He probably already figured it out.

"Kid idiot here broke my rib, and did something to my hip." Artemis groaned again, carefully lowering herself into her seat. M'gann got up to help her, while Conner took controls.

"I'm sorry," Wally said again. Kaldur put a hand on his shoulder.

"It is ok," he said quietly. "You got her here alive. That is what matters." Robin nodded, and started talking about the mission's highlights. Unfortunately, Wally couldn't take Kaldur's words to heart. He had hurt someone, his teammate, and the guilt was already eating away at him. That was the first time he had tried to carry Artemis to safety, and now she probably wouldn't trust him to do it again.

* * *

Damn what did he do to my hip? Artemis lay in her bed in the cave, too tired and hurt to go home. M'gann said only her rib was broken, but something in her hip was probably pulled. She needed a lot of rest to recover from this one. Who would've thought that in fighting criminals, it would actually be her idiot partner that put her on bed rest?

Then he had the nerve to go and blame… No wait. Artemis thought back to the ship. He had apologized and accepted the blame immediately. She was so unfocused then she hadn't noticed. That was very unlike him. Not that it mattered since it _was_ his fault. She heard a knock at her door.

"Who is it?" she grumbled.

"Uh…" came Wally's voice. "M'gann?"

"What do you want, Wally?" she snapped.

"I just brought a heating pad for you. You know. You did ice so now heat." She wanted to tell him to get lost, but the heating pad did sound nice.

"Come in," she sighed. The door slid open, but she didn't bother trying to get up to look at him. It took M'gann's help to get all the way into bed. She wasn't moving now. Wally quietly found the outlet, and plugged the heating pad in. He was moving uncommonly slow, and it was starting to bother her. Finally, he sat down on the edge of her bed, and laid the pad on her hip. She sighed in relief.

"Artemis, I really am sorry about this."

"Mhm," she replied with her eyes shut. When he didn't go away, she opened them to look at him. "What? You want a hug or something, 'cause you kind of made that difficult." He actually flinched at the jab.

"Look," he said, taking on a bit of his usual snappy tone again. "I just wanted to say it was an accident. A one time thing. It won't happen again."

"Oh I know it won't. There is no way I'm letting you grab me again. Do you break every one you save?" She waited for him to tease her about saving her life, but he didn't.

"No. Actually I worked pretty hard to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen. I'm just not used to people fighting against me when I… no. I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I should go." Fight against him? Because she tensed up? That kind of did make sense. If she had relaxed, her body probably would have moved with his motion. Suddenly Artemis started to feel guilty for blaming him, and for turning him into this sad thing she was looking at right now. She started to sit up with some difficulty, but Wally gently pushed her back down when he heard her groan.

"Look. I'm sorry," Artemis said with some difficulty. "I'm just not thinking right now, because I'm hurt."

"Yes, because of me. I get it."

"No. Just shut up for a minute will you?" He glared at her, which made her feel a little better. "I realize that this may be partly my fault."

"No. I should kno-"

"Hey, I said shut up," she snapped. She sighed, and rubbed her eyes. "Maybe... Maybe we could I don't know." She mumbled the next words. "We could practice or something." Wally's whole posture changed, going from slouchy and sad to straight and excited.

"Practice?" he asked. "Really? Like me and you?" Artemis glared at him.

"Who else, genius?" He grinned down at her, and let his hand rest over the heating pad on her hip.

"Just as soon as you're healed. Oh man. Rob and I already have it down pat. Now with you…" He trailed off, then focused again. "Thanks, Art," he added a bit more seriously.

"Don't call me that. Get out of my room. Go!" He laughed, and darted out the door. Artemis closed her eyes again, and didn't bother fighting the smile that played across her lips.


	6. Chapter 6

"So why isn't anyone just whelmed?" Robin asked. He was sitting on the couch with Zatanna, but he could see Wally exaggeratedly roll his eyes and silently mouth 'it's not that funny.'

"Because why would anyone need to say that?" Zee laughed. "If you can be _over_ whelmed and _under_ whelmed, then that implies whelmed is just your natural state of calm. No one points that out."

"Oh yeah…." Robin said slowly. She giggled at him again, and he grinned back. Unfortunately, Wally zipped over, and leaned on the back of the couch right between them.

" _We_ need to say that," he pointed out. "In the heat of battle, we stay whelmed."

"I want that on a shirt," Robin told him.

"Team shirts, yeah of course."

* * *

Black Canary walked in quickly, completely distracted by her work on a tablet. The team stood ready for her, Wally and Robin grinning like dorks.

"Ok, Team, we're just going to do some simple…" She stopped and stared at them. "You're matching now?" All 7 stood there in black t shirts with red print (they were the only colors that could get Superboy to agree to wearing a matching shirt) saying 'stay whelmed.'

"Do you like it?" Robin asked expectantly.

"We might have to add to it if Rob keeps making new words," Wally explained. Black Canary eyed Kaldur who shrugged.

"It seemed like team bonding." Black Canary nodded.

"I like it." Robin and Wally high fived at the praise.


	7. Chapter 7

"Ok team," Black Canary began. "Today we will be running simulations." Wally was practically bouncing in anticipation.

"Cool, holodeck," he whispered to Robin. Artemis heard and elbowed him to pay attention like the rest of them. Robin kept from laughing, and stood still waiting for instructions. He was honestly feeling just as excited as Wally (and he liked his joke), but he was better at hiding it than his friend.

"What kind of simulations?" Kaldur asked.

"You'll be doing team exercises in pairs," Black Canary explained. Robin's hand shot up before he had time to think about it.

"Oh ooh oh!" he and Wally said in unison, both raising their hands excitedly.

"Dibs on Wally."

"Yeah yeah. Me and Boy Wonder." M'gann and Kaldur smiled at the pair while Conner and Artemis rolled their eyes. Black Canary also smiled kindly.

"I'll be picking the teams," she said firmly. "I want you working with someone you may have some trouble with. Please don't let this go to your heads, boys, but you're already a pretty good team." The boys pouted for a second, then shrugged it off. She wasn't wrong. "Alright. First up is Robin and Kaldur."

"What?" Robin said is honest surprise. He and Kaldur had no problems with each other, they worked great together.

"Why are we to be paired?" Kaldur asked much more calmly.

"Well I remember there being a bit of a power struggle. I want to see what happens when two alphas get put together," she explained. Wally mumbled something about being an alpha, and Artemis elbowed him again.

"Whatever," Robin brushed her off. "Prepared to be proven wrong." Kaldur grinned at him while they moved toward the simulation bay.

"I'm looking forward to it."

* * *

Wally had no idea what was going on in the simulation, but they had been in there for 15 minutes. Way too long for him to stand still and wait for.

"Ugh," he groaned loudly. Black Canary ignored him. "This is taking forever."

"Will you be quiet?" Artemis snapped. "5 minutes of silence is all I ask."

"You ask too much."

"The doors are opening," M'gann said excitedly, and floated over to meet her teammates. Robin and Kaldur walked out, Kaldur clearly happy with their performance, and Robin with the smuggest grin on his face. He handed a green flag to her.

"Told you," he said.

"You sure did," Black Canary replied, clearly impressed. "Now wipe the smirk off your face before I do." Robin laughed, and high fived Wally.

"Nice, dude."

"Next up is M'gann and Conner." Everyone looked surprised.

"Why?" Conner asked.

"I think you two know, so I'll keep it to myself." Wally had no idea what Black Canary was talking about, and was honestly a little disappointed. M'gann was his second choice. So much for that. The pair blushed slightly, then walked into the simulation bay. Wally started pacing back and forth, annoyed that he was going last.

"Can't you stand still?" Artemis asked.

"Oh so I can't talk, and now I can't walk? You want me to stop breathing too?"

"Honestly?" Artemis glared at him.

"Gee I wonder why you two were paired up?" Robin asked dryly.

"If you do not stop arguing, you will never complete your simulation," Kaldur added. Wally rolled his eyes. It was her fault. Just then the doors opened, and an angry Conner and M'gann stepped through with no flag after only 5 minutes.

"You can try again tomorrow," Black Canary assured them. "Until then, you can review your failure on video." The nodded silently, then crossed their arms and refused to look at each other.

"My turn!" Wally shouted happily.

" _Our_ turn," Artemis corrected. Black Canary barely had enough time to adjust the simulation settings before the speedster ran in with an archer close behind.

The doors closed, and the simulation took shape. Around them was a jungle full of thick trees and vines, all wet from the rain pouring down. In the distance were stone ruins in vaguely the shape of a pyramid. Wally pulled his goggles down, and zoomed in. The green flag, which he could barely make out amongst the rain and moss, was in the ruins.

"Ha," he said. "This is cake. Wait here."

"Hold up," Artemis said, but Wally was already gone. He sped down the path, the rain barely slowing him. When he was half way there, a vine shot out at him. He jumped over it, but botched the landing. As he rolled across the ground another vine shot out, and grabbed him by his ankle. He was pulled upside down. He struggled to look back at his partner. Artemis shot a few arrows, then was grabbed by the vines too.

"Results: Failure," the mechanical voice announced. They both dropped, the simulation was cleared, and they left the room. Robin was already laughing, but everyone else just looked concerned.

"What part of _team_ exercise do you not understand!" Artemis yelled at him.

"Hey, you got grabbed too!" Robin kept laughing, while the rest of the team smiled at the familiar fighting.

"Enough, you can try again tomorrow," Black Canary ordered them.

"Oh I'm trying again right now," Artemis said, heading back in. Wally wasn't going to let her make him look bad.

"Well I am too."

"Do whatever you want, Bay Watch. I don't need you." Wally followed her in, biting his lip too keep from saying something stupid. The doors closed, and this time Artemis took the lead. She ran out without him, ducked through the attack vines, then shot an arrow attached to a string at the flag. Wally glared at her satisfied grin when it hit its target.

"Got it!" she said triumphantly. "See, wasn't so hard when you're not arou- AH!" A vined had grabbed the string, and pulled her in. Wally darted for her, but before he knew it they were both trapped in the vines.

"Results: Failure." They walked back out again, this time to everyone laughing, except Black Canary who shook her head. Wally glared at them. Even if M'gann and Conner had failed, at least they had lasted longer. Plus, Robin was going to be such an ass about this.

"What part of team exercise do you not understand," Wally snapped at Artemis, mocking her voice.

"You can try again tomorrow," Black Canary said firmly.

"Third times a charm," Wally said, turning back for the door.

"Right behind you," Artemis said. The stepped back in, the doors closed, and the jungle formed. This time to two stood hidden in the foliage assessing the situation. If he focused entirely on the vines and not the flag, Wally was pretty sure he would be able dodge them. That would leave Artemis to get the flag.

"Cover me, then go for the flag," Wally said.

"Then how do we get back out? Those vines will focus on me once I get the flag," Artemis pointed out. "I can shoot them, but my strong blasts could hurt you, and my weak ones may not hurt them."

"You don't have anything in the middle," Wally asked. She shook her head. "We're gonna have to fix that. Use the small ones. Let's go."

Wally sped forward, and Artemis shot the first vines that attacked. He then started to round back, dodging vines as he went. He mostly had to rely on Artemis to know what she was doing to get the flag, because he couldn't pay attention to her. It took a solid 10 minutes of running, ducking, flipping, rolling, and dodging before the vines changed their target. She had the flag.

Wally turned, and saw Artemis shooting back the vines on the ruins, the green flag tucked into her pants. He grinned, and sprinted for her. In a second he stood beside her, and pulled her up into a piggy back where she kept shooting.

"Head down," Wally instructed. "I'm going full speed."

"Got it." She shot one more arrow, and the second her bow was away and her head was tucked down into his neck, Wally took off full speed. He had to zigzag, run up trees, and flip, but Artemis held on tight with her arms around it neck, and Wally made sure to keep a firm hold of her legs at his waist. They were so close, there was no way Wally was going to lose just because Artemis flew off him. So close. Almost to the door. Just a little further.

* * *

"They have been in there some time now," Kaldur commented. Robin scoffed.

"Pretty impressive, their first 2 attempts lasted a grand total of 5 minutes." He wondered how they were doing, secretly hoping for another fail so he could tease Wally about it. Black Canary was looking angry and bored for having to wait, and M'gann and Conner were already looking over their video on a tablet. Then the doors opened, and Wally sped out with Artemis on his back. Everyone look up in surprise.

"We got it!" Artemis shouted, triumphantly waving the flag over her head, and swinging her legs happily.

"You guys didn't think we could," Wally snapped. "Well suck it!" M'gann and Kaldur clapped and congratulated them, while Conner and Robin laughed. Black Canary rolled her eyes, and left before someone caught her smiling. Wally spun around with Artemis a few more times, before letting her down. No one else noticed, and Artemis probably thought it was an accident, and Robin caught Wally's hands briefly slide over her backside as he let her down. He knew it wasn't an accident.

" _I_ got the flag, M'gann," Artemis said, hugging the other girl.

"I saw that," Robin whispered to Wally. He grinned back.

"It was an accident."

"Liar." Wally shrugged, and a second later he was behind Artemis. He snatched the flag out of hand, and in another second was on the other side of the room.

"Souvenir," he said, grinning at her before darting for his room.

"Damn it, Wally!" Artemis shouted at him. "You're not keeping this one!" She ran off after him, looking ready to kill. Well at least things were back to normal.


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh no, implied adult behavior. You've been warned, but honestly its nothing.**

* * *

"Look, will you stop worrying," Wally sighed.

"Roy deserves this," Robin explained. "He can't just ignore us like this. It's time we paid him a visit."

"Besides, you checked he was alone, so we're good." Kaldur nodded, and tried to wipe the grin from his face. Pranking Roy did sound funny, but he was the oldest and figured he should try to be the voice of reason.

"And if the League should find out?" he asked.

"They'll get a good laughed," Wally said quickly. He strolled along the dark street casually with Robin (how could he see with sunglasses on at night?). Kaldur finally laughed.

"Very well, my friends, but I get to scare him first. I want to see the look on his face." It was a simple joke; just break into Roy's apartment, and catch him while he is sleeping. He would never be able to live down having three people sneak into his room unbeknownst to him.

They finally came to his building, and luckily his apartment was in the back, out of view from the street. He was also only four stories up. This was almost not a challenge. Wally went first, running straight up the wall, and making some noises at random points along the building. This was part of Robin's plan to make anyone listening think any noises they made was just a cat or the wind.

Next, Robin used his grapple to raise himself up, and quietly broke the window lock. He opened the window, and slid in. After a few seconds he waved for them to follow. Wally ran straight down the wall, and slipped in without a sound (crazy how he could be quiet when he wanted to be. Kaldur took note of this for missions). Kaldur then used small amounts of water (to avoid the noise of his usual large spout) to raise himself up, and crouched into the dark room.

To be honest, Kaldur was a little disappointed his friend had not discovered them yet. He expected better from a hero, so Roy deserved all the teasing he was going to get. Robin nodded to a door, and Kaldur moved toward it. Before he could open it, Robin greased up the hinges just in case they squeaked. It opened silently, but the room was too dark to see anything. Wally stood ready by the light, to turn it on the second Roy was woken up.

Kaldur moved closer, being careful not to make a sound. Closer. Almost there. He was careful not to even breath now. Then, in one swift motion, he pulled back the blanket, and moved the restrain him by the arm.

"What the fuck!" a woman yelled. Roy just grunted. The lights flicked on, and Kaldur immediately let go of Roy, who was completely naked. Crouched for a fight on the other side of the bed, was an equally naked woman with black hair and tanned skin. The awkwardness almost made Kaldur dizzy.

"Oh shit," Wally said, frozen to the spot. His eyes flicked around the room, uncertain of where to look.

"You're Cheshire," Robin gasped, his hand slightly raised to point at her. He was also frozen to the spot, but his eyes switched between Roy and Cheshire. The woman's face turned from aggressive to annoyed, and she grabbed a blanket to cover herself. Roy, grabbed a sheet to do the same.

"What the hell are you doing!" he demanded.

"You said you were alone," Kaldur tried explained. He never would have expected this.

"That's why you asked? For a prank?" Roy was furious, but Cheshire just rolled her eyes, and sat on the bed. He rubbed his eyes, then turned his fury to Robin and Wally. "It was your idea wasn't it?" he said to them both.

"Well we weren't expecting this." Robin held up his hands defensively.

"Yeah," Wally added. "Who would've thought _you'd_ get any action." If looks could kill, Wally would have been dead.

"Man, heroes have to stop seeing bad guys with cat gimmicks," Robin continued shaking his head.

"Bad _girls_ ," Cheshire corrected, winking at Roy. He pinched his eyes again, and turned his back on them, waving toward the door.

"Let us go," Kaldur said quickly, pushing his two younger companions out of the room.

"You forgot to cover ass up, man!" Wally called to Roy. Robin whistled after him.

"Bye, boys!" Cheshire called after them. "See you around!"

Kaldur put his hands over their mouths, and practically pulled them the rest of the way out the building and to the street. Then he quickly started walking toward the closest zeta tube.

"We are never speaking of this," he said. Wally started to complain, but Robin elbowed him.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he sighed. Robing put his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Aw, it's ok, buddy," he comforted him. "At least we got to see Cheshire naked." They both started laughing behind Kladur, who was done with the whole situation.

"We are never speaking of this, starting _immediately_."


	9. Chapter 9

Kaldur crouched amongst some bushes, relying mostly on the cover of night and his distance from the enemy to keep him hidden. Robin, who was next to him, was fine with it, so this must be an adequate hiding spot for now. He trusted his partner's stealth.

"This is not going as expected," Robin sighed as he fiddled with the computer on his arm. That was obvious, but Kaldur wasn't the type to point it out. His job was to get his team out of there.

"The psychic link is broken. Is Miss M down?" he asked instead.

"Just a second," his partner replied, tapping his arm a few more times. "Got radio back on. Hey Soupy, do you read me?" Kaldur scanned the area again. They were several kilometers from the enemy base. This was a simple mission to get information on some drug movers operating in the Michigan wilderness. Kaldur barely knew a thing about the state, and wondered why they would possibly be there. Apparently simply because no one would think to look there… no one except Batman.

It didn't matter. Robin retrieved their files (enough information to find their partners and lock them all away), and they would have made a clean escape if Superboy and M'gann hadn't been seen. Kalrdur didn't blame them or get angry, but he saw an area of improvement for their next training session. The pair had been attacked, the site went on high alert, and the link broke.

"M'gann is hurt. She won't wake up." Superboy's voice came in both of their ear pieces.

"Keep to code names, Superboy," Kaldur reminded him. "We don't know if anyone has hacked our frequency."

"Yeah, Campbells," Robin said. "Just keep calm." Oh no, Robin was using his own code names now. Kaldur hoped that ignoring it would keep him from continuing. Superboy called to M'gann a few more times before Kaldur stopped him.

"Superboy, listen to me. You need to focus. What is your position?" There was a pause.

"Right. Miss M and I are in the bioship, less than a kilometer north of you. She's unconscious, I'm unhurt, and can fly the ship."

"Good. Stay where you are, we will rendezvous with you. I don't want to draw any more attention to ourselves. Robin, can you contact Artemis and Kid Flash." It was time to get out of here.

"Already on it," Robin said, taking on the tone of semi bored tone of an air plane pilot. Oh no, Kaldur thought again. He and KF were going to start joking again. He did not need this. "Lover Boy. Are you there, Lover Boy? Come in Lover Boy." Again, Kaldur could hear the response in his own ear set.

"What does that mean," Artemis snapped in a harsh whisper.

"Code names," Kaldur sighed.

"Lover Boy here, come in Huggy Bear. Do you read me, Huggy Bear," KF replied in the same tone as Robin only whispering.

"Huggy Bear here. I'm with Mama Bear about 3.5 kilometers north of you. We have the treasure and are all clear to go. Campbells and Green Bean are back on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. What is your status?" Kaldur groaned internally. 3.5 kilometers. They were probably right by the base.

"Princess Pissy and I are right outside the base, but currently undetected. We can retreat if you've already got the treasure. What are your orders, Mama Bear?" KF replied briskly.

"Who is Mama Bear?" Artemis snapped again.

"Rendezvous back at-" Robin shot him a meaningful look. Kaldur sighed. "Back at _Chitty. Chitty. Bang. Bang_." The words came out with difficulty. " _Huggy Bear_ ," he continued through gritted teeth, "will send you coordinates. How long do you need?" Robin grinned at him.

"The princess and I can be there in 5 minutes," KF answered quickly. "Copy that, Huggy Bear?"

"Copy that, Lover Boy." They ended their conversation. Well that was sure to confuse anyone who may have tapped their frequency.

"We will wait for them in the bio ship," Kaldur said as he started to make his way back to the ship.

"You mean Chitty Chit-"

"No. We are going to have a long training session after this."


	10. Chapter 10

Artemis walked home from the store carrying groceries she had just bought, practicing the apathetic but content face she would have on when she walked into her apartment. To be honest, she was annoyed she had to do any of this. The shopping and errands and laundry, but her mother was in a wheelchair so who else would. She was 15, and wanted to be lazy and have friends over and flirt with guys, not do the house work. But her mother had it hard enough, so Artemis didn't want her to learn that just how bad a mood she was in. So she practiced her content look.

She turned down an empty, narrow street of Gotham just 5 minutes from her home when she heard footsteps approaching fast. She told herself to just stay calm, that there was no reason to get worked up. The worst thing she could do was beat up some random jogger. Instead, she saw a man in a cheap clown mask round the corner, sprinting and looking over his shoulder. He was no good, that was obvious, so Artemis crouched down, ready to trip him when he got close.

Before she could, though, a flash of yellow collided with the clown guy, sending him flying several feet. Standing there was Kid Flash with a cocky grin. He crouched slightly, and Robin appeared from nowhere, springing off his partner's shoulders and landing a kick in clown guy's face. A second later, Kid Flash had him tied up and tagged with a tracker.

"Time?" Kid Flash asked. Neither seemed to notice her, and she felt an immediate distaste for them both. One for ignoring an innocent bystander, and two because she was jealous they could run around as superheroes while she was stuck in a criminal family. Every time she tried to help people, they thought _she_ was one of the thieves or muggers. No one ever recognized her as a hero like they did these two.

"4.5 seconds for the take down," Robin answered, "but the chase was a solid 30."

"Damn. Oh well, on to the next one." Kid Flash finally looked at her, his smiled widening. "You all right, beautiful?"

"Excuse me?" Artemis snapped.

"Sorry, KF doesn't know how to behave," Robin apologized for him. "Gotta run." He jogged off, then used his grapple hook to pull up onto the buildings.

"Hopefully we meet again," Kid Flash said with a bow. He looked up and winked before darting away, and Artemis scolded herself for blushing. She walked the rest of the way home, not bothering to hide her terrible mood.

* * *

"So that was your actually first meeting with anyone on the Team?" M'gann asked. "I can't believe it." They were sitting in M'gann's room. She had requested a traditional, Earth sleep over, so Artemis and Zatanna agreed to help her out. Zatanna couldn't stop laughing.

"Wally hit on you," she cried, holding side.

"Shut up, he does that to everyone. It's his default," Artemis snapped.

"Do you think they remember?" M'gann asked.

"No, and don't remind them. They didn't even look at me."

"Wally did!" Zatanna said, rolling over with M'gann from laughter again.

"Will you both shut up!"


End file.
